I need a beer

Predictable puns don’t necessarily make bad jokes. Or do they? Well I’ll tell you one thing that is a joke at the moment, and that’s the Australian selection policy at the moment. It’s like the hokey cokey. You put your Johnson; you take your Johnson out. In. Out. In. Out. You shake it all about. [...]

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Third slip? Really?

So the bowlers have gone to Melbourne three weeks before The Collective arrive. They are there for a bowl off to decide who should replace Broad. The Collective has no view as the selectors have already rejected our varied fast and dark arts from the touring party. But The Collective is today going to make [...]

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Happy now?

Sometimes a picture says a thousand words. In 2006 / 07 this picture would have been one of a grimly determined skipper destroying the opposition. Now it simply reprensents the happy state of bemusement that one assumes is going through Ricky “I’m the only good player in this team” Ponting. Cut out, keep and put [...]

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We flippin’ murdered them

As Bumble once said, “We flippin’ murdered them!” Only that was after we got a draw against Zimbabwe. Not beating Aussie in Adelaide for only the third time ever. Did I say beating?  I mean annihilating. How about expunging?

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Ill child in the bed #2

The necessary background: ill child is called Roddy Douglas. Commentators announce that Bollinger is coming on to bowl. “Ah!” I exclaim, quietly. “It’s Doug the Rug!” Ill Child hears this, and protests: “I’m not a rug, I’m Roddy!”

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Punching the air with an ill child in the bed

Title says it all. Top marks to us for not swearing with it. I mean, the first three overs. Fuckadoodledo.

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